IMPERFECT

Today I am grateful. My life is not perfect. My marriage is not perfect. My family is not perfect. My house and cars are not perfect. My finances are FAR from perfect. My job is not perfect. My church is not perfect. My friends are not perfect. Yet I am grateful for each one of these, for even in their imperfections they are much more than I deserve; in their imperfections I see the grace of God; in the midst of imperfection I can glimpse the horizon of future perfection in Him. Today, I encourage you, my friends near and far, to look for the goodness and grace in the imperfections of your life.

God, You are good and Your mercies endure forever. Amen.

TOP TEN THINGS ABOUT THE BIBLE...

I recently read an article where the writer asked theologian and professor Peter Enns to list the top ten things he wished people knew about the Bible. Mind you, Dr. Enns is not afraid to think outside of the box; he constantly challenges Believers to "rethink biblical Christianity."  His list resonates with me. So below is this list copied directly from the article published Oct. 6, 2014 from www.faithstreet.com:

1. The Bible doesn’t answer all — or even most — of our questions.

Many of our questions, even some of the more pressing questions we face daily, aren’t answered in the Bible. The Christian Bible isn’t an answer book but a story of how Jesus answers for us the biggest question of all: what God is like.

2. The Bible isn’t like God’s version of Apple’s “Terms and Conditions” agreement.

The Bible doesn’t lay out before us God’s terms and conditions, where failure to adhere to one clause in the middle of page 87 will cause a breach of contract and banishment from God’s graces. The Bible is more like a grand narrative that reorders our imaginations and holds out for us an alternate way of seeing reality — with God at the heart of it rather than ourselves.

3. The Bible isn’t a sourcebook for fighting culture wars.

The Bible isn’t a club we use to gain political power or a way of forcing secular culture to obey our rules. America is not God’s country and the Bible isn’t its constitution. Stop it.

4. The Bible doesn’t guarantee “success in life.”

Don’t listen to those T.V. preachers. The Bible isn’t a step-by-step guide to success, as if buried there are deep secrets for being happy, healthy, and rich. It is a book that shows what dying to self and surrendering to God are about. The Bible crushes our egos.

5. The Bible is open to multiple interpretations, not just one meaning.

The Bible is ancient and obscure, and its stories are “gapped” and flexible, which allows—even demands—readers to interpret the Bible legitimately in various ways. This is exactly what has been happening among Jews and Christians for over 2,000 years.

6. The Bible invites debate.

An extremely important lesson for Christians to learn from Judaism is that the Bible invites debate. In fact, it can’t avoid it, given how open it is to multiple interpretations. Winning Bible feuds with others, getting to the right answer, isn’t the end goal. The back-and forth with the Bible, and with God, is where deeper faith is found.

7. The Bible doesn’t “record” history objectively but interprets it.

The biblical writers didn’t try to get history “right” in the same sense an author of an academic textbook does. Instead, they interpreted the past in their place and time, for their own communities, to answer their own questions of faith. That’s why the Bible contains two very different “histories” of Israel and the four Gospels that recount Jesus’ life differently.

8. The Bible was written by Jews (and at least one Gentile in the New Testament) in ancient times.

This may sound too obvious to say, but it’s not. The biblical writers were ancient writers expressing their faith in God using the vocabulary and concepts of their ancient cultures. When we transpose our language and concepts onto biblical writers, even if we are trying to understand the Bible, we will actually distort it.

9. The Bible isn’t the center of the Christian faith.

Some form of the Bible has always been a part of the life of the church, but the Bible isn’t the center of our faith. God is — or, for Christians, what God has done in and through Jesus. The Bible doesn’t draw attention to itself, but to God.

10. The Bible doesn’t give us permission to speak for God.

At least not without a lot of wisdom and humility behind it. Knowing the Bible is vital for Christian growth, but it can also become intoxicating. We don’t always see as clearly as we might think, and what we learn of God in the Bible should always be first and foremost directed inward rather than aimed at others.

WHEN SHE WALKS THE DOG

A little ditty about life and my wife.

A LINE IN THE SAND: Homosexuality and Gay Marriage

I want to preface this writing with one non-negotiable: I do NOT believe homosexuality is a choice.  If you have any friends, co-workers, family members, or anyone else that you care for who have same-sex leanings, you will know that (or should).   While the reasons for homosexuality have been debated over and over, no one knows why a person’s psychological make up gives way to this, nor why God allows this.  But it is an un-chosen path many face.

Secondly, I want you to know that I have a partner in life who commits to read these blog entries and give me a thumbs up or thumbs down before I ever publish them. Her approval is critical, because I value her opinion and I trust her walk with God. Her biggest concern with this blog entry? "This is such a controversial topic...I don't want to lose any friends over you sharing your opinion." The mere fact that this is a concern of hers is a strong indicator of the dysfunction that exists in many circles of Christianity and our churches today: "Believe exactly what I believe...no room for other opinions because my understanding of Truth is the only one that is acceptable."  I pray that our friends have room for our questions, even if they run contrary to their beliefs and opinions.

I just read an article about The Family Foundation, a Christian group that is calling for 40 Days of Prayer, Fasting and Repentance for Marriage in light of the many referendums and challenges and debates regarding gay marriage.  It’s funny how some of the media outlets have called it a 40-day hunger strike.  They obviously know nothing about the spirituality of fasting, nor the significance of 40 days of fasting.

Reading this article prompted me to share my thoughts and questions and meanderings regarding this hot topic.  As a counselor and minister, and as a friend, I have encountered more than a few people who have had same-sex attractions. I’ve seen the damage that the world has caused them, and I’ve seen the lack of love the Church has shown them.  I’ve watched the LGBT community activists force their view onto those who have true religious convictions.  All sides of this issue have often made me cringe when I try to comprehend it under the umbrella of Christ’s love.   

I have been all over the place regarding same-sex marriage.  I have people from every walk of my life who are gay and whom I love.  I also have dear friends who I respect and admire and love who stand firmly against same-sex relationships.  I have heard and read just about every argument for and against gay marriage and practicing homosexuality, and I am usually swayed a little each time I hear the “facts” as presented by either side.

What does the Bible say about homosexuality and gay marriage? When it comes to many current issues, I often struggle with the words I read in Scripture, their literal meanings, their perceived meanings, their cultural meanings, and their Old Covenant meanings vs. New Covenant meanings.  What do I believe?  Do I believe the Word I read as it is, interpreted to me by my own life experiences and by what the Holy Spirit tells me?   Do I believe the seminary-trained theologian, who themselves in turn have been influenced by other people who come from completely different life and spiritual experiences than myself?  Do I believe the various denominational leaders and historical church councils who have bartered and compromised and voted to adopt creeds and “official” understandings of Scripture and religious dogma to suit their agendas?  Do I believe the Word as it is preached and taught by pastors who dedicate their lives to sharing the Gospel, yet are as human and screwed up and have the same thought processes as you or me?  Do I believe fresh interpretations and understandings of the various Greek and Hebrew texts based on today's customs and culture rather than ancient customs and culture?

I BELIEVE GOD’S WORD.  It’s just that I have so many questions about who’s interpretation I stand by, especially concerning current social and moral issues. 

A friend recently posted a thought about our need for an “unmovable standard”.  Basically, what he was saying was that there has to be a line drawn in the sand somewhere and we need to accept the Scripture’s moral compass settings. Otherwise, what is to keep us from accepting anything as “normal”, be it gay marriage or polygamy or something as extreme as beastiality?

I get that.  What keeps our society from anarchy are the laws and standards we live by.   What keeps our spiritual lives God-pleasing are the standards God has shown us in Scripture.  But (1) that still doesn’t address the questions I have mentioned above about how we interpret the Bible and whose interpretation we believe, which ultimately affects what we believe about those biblically-based standards; and (2) what would have happened generations ago had we drawn that line in the sand accepting those biblically-based standards that people used regarding slavery, women’s rights, rights for minorities, mixed-race marriages, and divorce?  Each of those issues were argued against using God’s Word.  And now homosexuality and same-sex marriage are on the same burner of intense scrutiny.

Do we Christians play buffet-style religion with regards to gay marriage and same-sex relationships? There are more than a few directives given in the New Testament that the church has ignored or explained away.  Any Christian women out there adorn their bodies with gold or pearls?  Cut their hair?  Speak in church?  Any Christian men out there with long hair?  When was the last time your church had a pot luck and invited the poor, maimed, blind and lame?  Have you taken out any loans recently?  You see, each of these things are specifically spoken to in the New Testament.  No ifs, ands, or buts. Yet the majority of New Testament churches do not adhere to what the Bible says about these.  Where is the line in the sand with these issues?

Another issue my mind stumbles over when debating scriptural literacy and homosexuality is relatively new in the past few decades:  acceptance of divorce and remarriage in the church.  How many of our churches have faithful, loving, giving, committed divorced and remarried people serving in them?  Bible study leaders, deacons, elders, musicians, and even pastors?  The New Testament, even Jesus’ own words, tells us that to remarry after divorce (except in the case that the original marriage ended because of adultery) is to live in adultery.  Therefore, if we are to follow exactly that line in the sand that the Bible gives us regarding divorce and remarriage, doesn’t that mean that we’ve allowed and accepted on-going adultery into our churches?  And if you do a simple search of Scripture, you’ll find that there are many more warnings and statements about divorce than about homosexuality.

It seems to me that the church has a history of reexamining spiritual truths and standards in light of grace, forgiveness, cultural acceptance, and new understandings of Jesus’ teachings.  Is it wrong that we’ve reexamined the Scriptures that deal with remarriage and accepted this in our churches?  Is it wrong that we’ve reexamined the Scriptures regarding women and jewelry and allowed that in our churches?  Should homosexuality and gay marriage be reexamined in our churches today, just as slavery was, just as women’s rights were, et el?

I don’t have a clear answer.  But I think I have a clear thought process.

For me, it boils down to this:  on one hand is belief in the literal, black-and-white reading and blunt understanding of the Bible, without room for new interpretation or reexamination; on the other hand is belief that is based on grace, on soul competency/the priesthood of the believer…we each are personally responsible for how we read and interpret the Scripture…and on the on-going dynamic individual relationship we each have with Christ.  I don’t believe that the Bible ever changes, but I believe our understanding and interpretations of it are ever-fluid, ever-growing, ever-changing as we “work out our salvation with fear and trembling.”

I guess my questions are summed up here: can the same God who allows men with long hair in our churches also allow gay marriage? Can the same God that has allowed women to take leadership roles in churches and in worship also allow homosexual relationships?  If the church has deemed once non-acceptable things as now acceptable, why draw the line with this one issue?  Is that God speaking, or is it man speaking what they want God to say?

I don’t claim to have an answer for anyone other than myself.  In fact, I don’t really have an answer at all…I have a lot of questions.  However, on my own spiritual journey, I firmly believe that not everything is as black-and-white as some would have you believe.  I may be wrong…but I may not.  However, if I am going to be wrong, I will err on the side of grace, the side of love, and on my own personal promptings of the Holy Spirit and interpretations of the Word.  I will err on the side that casts shame and hatred to the pits of hell.

My eternal salvation does not rest on what I believe on homosexuality and gay marriage.  I challenge each of us to not make someone else’s salvation rest on that either.  Let's stop demonizing one another's beliefs, from the fundamentalist conservative Believer to the LGBT activist, let's commit to honor one another in Christ's love, and let's leave the judging up to the Almighty. 

DADDY'S ROAR

Part of my spiritual journey the last few years has involved an emotional journey, an unwrapping and unpacking of things I never thought needed to addressed.  But coming to terms with my past has opened the door to coming to terms with my today.  Or at least cracked the window.  Why do I want to bare my soul like this post and the previous one?  Because I'm learning I'm not alone.  Maybe, just maybe, if someone had bared their soul to me years ago, I'd be further along on my journey.  So I pray that my openness may bring someone further along on their walk.

I grew up on a small family farm. During my early years it was a dairy farm. During my adolescent years it was a little of everything: beef cattle, goat, chickens, rabbits, ducks, you name it. Daddy simply enjoyed the country and raising animals. He was proud to provide sustenance for his family from the fruits of his labor. Milk (both cow and goat!), meat, eggs, butter, as well as money from the sale of those.

I have vivid memories of Daddy coming to my rescue on that farm. One time as I was sitting on top of a stack of hay he was pulling with a tractor, we hit a bump and I tumbled. In a split second Daddy was off the tractor and able to catch me before I hit the ground. Another time I decided to ride a young calf. I remember sneaking up behind that yellow hefer and jumping on its back. It bucked me off, I hit the ground hard, and the next thing I remember is Daddy picking me up off the manure-covered lot and cradling me in his arms. Yet another time while most of the family was at the barn, I was home jumping on my bed. I took a tumble, busting my head on the corner of the bed frame. I remember running down the path to the barn, screaming with blood pouring out of my head, and Daddy racing toward me, then scooping me up with Momma close behind. Daddy wanted my best. He wanted to protect me and take care of me.

But Daddy had another side. You see, he was a roar-er. You never knew when he would have a burst of anger or impatience and let out a roar. It may be toward one of the farm animals, or it may be toward one of us.

He would break cows’ tails. Seriously. In case you’ve never been in an active dairy barn, cows are lured (with a trough of grain) one at a time into a stanchion, which is a device that a cow will stick its head through, then the farmer will lock it to keep them immobilized during the milking process while they munch their grain. We had two rows of stanchions, and each row held about 8 cows. The stanchions were fairly close together. Sometimes, while locked in its stanchion, a cow would swing its tail at just the right second and knock Daddy’s cigarette out of his mouth. Or they would kick out with their hind legs and give him a whack on the leg. Dad’s response would be to roar loudly, then grab the poor creature’s tail and wrench it, sometimes breaking it. We had more than a few cows with crooked tails. Or sometimes he would beat the cow’s hind quarters with his fist and forearm while they twisted and jumped and bellowed.

Daddy would roar at us too. I always hated when cows escaped their pasture. That meant we had to chase them down and round them up, often the whole family involved in the process. Imagine that you’re a little seven-year-old kid with a bunch of cows running toward you, and your job was to not let them get past you. It’s cold, it’s dark, your rubber boots are slipping in the mud, and Daddy’s roaring. Roaring at the cows, and then roaring at you because they ran past you and you couldn’t stop them. Roaring at you as he ran past, having to undo what you did wrong.

Other roaring incidents stand out in my memory.  Many times during family get-togethers, something would happen that would cause Daddy to roar and storm out of the house, leaving the rest of us in awkward silence and tears around the dinner table. In my later teens, I started going after him, finding him and begging him to stop and come back inside. More often than not he would turn that roar on me for bothering him.

Daddy would roar if I didn’t hold the flashlight steady while he worked on something. He would roar at my mom and tell her he was going to leave us. He would roar at my brother-in-law for who knows what. (I think it was simply because there were finally other men in the family who weren’t afraid to question him.) He would roar at my sisters. He would roar at his father, Granddaddy Chapman, when they would talk St. Helena Parish politics.

Please don’t misread me…I loved my Daddy. But I was scared of him. The roars terrified me. Even after he made a life-changing commitment to Christ during my later high school years. Even after he became known in his senior adult years as a gentle, kindly man. It was engrained in me to be scared of him. Until his last days on this earth and I was already a middle-aged man, if I had to question him or disagree with him about something, my voice would shake and my heart would race.

As far back as I can remember, I’ve sung songs about God the Father. Abba Father. Loving, faithful Father. I’ve always wanted to feel those songs, to connect with the image of that father-figure God. But it’s been like a distant fog. It will not click. I believe in God. I believe He loves me. I believe He knows me. I believe He desires a relationship with me. But God the Father? That’s not a good thing for me. I don’t like to hear or read about God the Father.

My journey these last few years has provided me the opportunity to seek counseling, and a common thread has included coming to terms with Daddy. Before, I poo-pooed the idea that his behaviors would have any affect on my adult life. That was just psycho babble...an excuse...someone to blame for my own weaknesses and lack of character. But I'm slowly learning it’s not psycho babble, nor an excuse. I’m slowly accepting that the affects of a roaring daddy are long-term and real on his children.

Why does that matter at this stage of my life? I think because I want to understand, accept, and trust God as my heavenly Father. I need to understand, accept, and trust God as my heavenly Father.

But also because I inherited some of my Daddy’s roaring tendencies, and I hate it. I want to cap those roars, to tender those red-hot responses that sometimes make their way up my throat, over my vocal cords, and past my lips.

And I want my kids to have a healthy understanding and acceptance of God the Father.

Are you a roar-er? If so, I welcome you to the journey of silencing those roars.  Your life may not depend on it, but someone else's may.  

THE DANDELION IN MY LAWN

I'll admit up front that I have a blasted melancholy-type personality. I try to keep it shoved down, but sometimes it shoots up like a dandelion in the middle of a perfectly groomed yard. And here it is today. I haven't felt this weary in a while. But I'm weary. "Come to me all who are weary" weary. 

Maybe it's because of my surgery and I'm tired of being limited during the recovery process.

Maybe it's because I've yet to find anything that I'm professionally competent at since I left my career and ministry in the church. 

Maybe it's that I haven't allowed myself to find a church home. I've tried going to my old church, but I just feel too radioactive, too needy there, and I feel too wrapped up emotionally to be a part of the changes and struggles going on there now. But I miss the everyday casual friendships of church.  I miss the church office comradery. I miss being needed, wanted.

Maybe I miss using my creativity. I've had to be creative for as long as I remember, now I just...am. I'm finding some release through writing. I've made a couple of silly YouTube videos which were really fun but embarrassingly stupid. Sadly I don't have the personality of a Mark Lowry. I'm a wanna be.

Maybe I miss music. I don't miss singing or performing or directing. But I miss the emotion, the feeling. I used to feel competent with music. (But I guess that depended on who you talked to.) I would love to be able to create lyrics and melodies, to musically emote this melancholy personality I've been cursed/blessed with. But who in the hell has time for that kind of time-consuming creativity with an active family and two yards to maintain and a job and too many TV shows to catch up on the DVR? 

Maybe I'm weary because I've had to come to terms with the fact that I'm not the greatest husband and dad. In fact, I've sucked at it more often than not. After 50 years of living, one would think I would have a better grip on it. Be a better provider. A better lover. A better DIYer. Less lazy. Less fat.

My journey as of late has barely skirted the path that runs beside the bog and swamp. Yet who am I to complain? Some friends of mine are putting their little 7 month old daughter's body in the ground today. They have the right to be weary. I'm just a complainer when compared. I get it: in the grand scheme of life, I should be ashamed that I'm at a low point. I'm selfish. It's all about me and what I'm not getting or feeling or being given.

A lobotomy would be nice right now. But I don't think our insurance would cover it. And I think my wife would get a little pissed. 

Today, I just need to find God in the weariness. See Him in the mourning of my friends at their baby's funeral. Acknowledge Him in the fragrance of our blooming wisteria vine. Look for Him in the wind with the floating dandelion seeds. Maybe I'm just supposed to be weary right now.  Maybe Christ wants to use my weariness to cause me to turn to Him. Maybe He wants me to share my weariness for you, so that you can remember that you're not alone in your weariness.

Maybe.

“Come to Me , all of you who are weary and burdened , and I will give you rest.  All of you, take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light .”

NOAH

I love going to the movies. I’m not a fanatic, I can’t quip lots movie dialogue off the top of my head, and there are a lot of movies I don’t go see. But I love going to the movies. By myself, with family, with friends, it doesn’t matter to me who I’m with, I just love sitting back with my buttered popcorn and Dr. Pepper and being transported into another world.

I have been excited to see the Noah movie starring Russell Crowe since the first previews were shown. Action, supernatural, special effects, panoramic…all things I like in a movie.

Enter those negative Christians.

Everywhere I turn I’m reading another pastor or Christian blogger who is warning all Believers to “stay away” and “avoid” this movie. They’ve got tons of reasons to convince you to not see this movie: it’s not theologically correct, God and Noah’s relationship in the movie isn’t what they were taught in Sunday School, the ark landed on a mountain, not on a cliff, Noah is presented as an “environmentalist”, etc., etc., blah, blah.

But I still can’t wait to see it.

The story of Noah is one of the coolest stories in the Bible. I dare say that nearly everyone, Believer or not, knows this story. I don’t ever remember a big screen movie being made about Noah and the Ark. I’m pumped to see their visual interpretation of the flood and the ark and the gathering of animals.

I’m excited that someone had a vision to make a movie about Noah. He was a great guy, but he was messed up too. Well, he got drunk. And he slept naked. I don’t know if that makes someone messed up, but it sure makes them, well, human. I mean, this guy “walked with God” and was considered righteous and blameless, and here he is getting drunk and going commando. I want to see this guy on the big screen!

There is a lot the Bible doesn’t tell us about Noah and his family and the ark. What were his emotions? Did he question or doubt? The Bible is clear that he obeyed God, but the guy was human and had human thoughts and struggles. What about his family and their doubts and fears? What about the people that were left to drown in the waters? Did they clamor to get on the ark once the waters started rising? What about the “sons of God and daughters of man”? The Nephilim?

There is so much theological discourse and disagreement on the scriptures in Genesis 6 that one needs to pore through several Bible commentaries just to get a general handle on all the ideas floating around out there about the days of Noah. I think it is awesome that a filmmaker somewhere decided to tackle some of these ideas and present them in a cinematic way. They may not be the ideas that the local seminary teaches, but so what? I don’t always want to have to depend on Biblical scholars for my understanding of the Scripture. I’m safe and secure enough in my beliefs to be able to see someone else’s interpretation without thinking they’re going to hell or trying to lead me to hell.

I have no idea if the movie Noah is going to be worth the time or the bucks I’ll be laying down. I may leave the theater disappointed. I may leave the theater disappointed and frustrated. I may even leave the theater and tell others, “That movie’s not worth your time!” But I’m going to see that movie. I’m really looking forward to being entertained by something that was inspired by one of the coolest stories in the Bible.

And you know what? I bet a lot of non-Believers are going to see that movie too, and then do just what a number of kids did after they saw the Harry Potter movies: go read the book. In this case, though, they’ll be reading The Book. I think that’ll make God pretty happy. And I think that’s pretty cool.