A LINE IN THE SAND: Homosexuality and Gay Marriage

I want to preface this writing with one non-negotiable: I do NOT believe homosexuality is a choice.  If you have any friends, co-workers, family members, or anyone else that you care for who have same-sex leanings, you will know that (or should).   While the reasons for homosexuality have been debated over and over, no one knows why a person’s psychological make up gives way to this, nor why God allows this.  But it is an un-chosen path many face.

Secondly, I want you to know that I have a partner in life who commits to read these blog entries and give me a thumbs up or thumbs down before I ever publish them. Her approval is critical, because I value her opinion and I trust her walk with God. Her biggest concern with this blog entry? "This is such a controversial topic...I don't want to lose any friends over you sharing your opinion." The mere fact that this is a concern of hers is a strong indicator of the dysfunction that exists in many circles of Christianity and our churches today: "Believe exactly what I believe...no room for other opinions because my understanding of Truth is the only one that is acceptable."  I pray that our friends have room for our questions, even if they run contrary to their beliefs and opinions.

I just read an article about The Family Foundation, a Christian group that is calling for 40 Days of Prayer, Fasting and Repentance for Marriage in light of the many referendums and challenges and debates regarding gay marriage.  It’s funny how some of the media outlets have called it a 40-day hunger strike.  They obviously know nothing about the spirituality of fasting, nor the significance of 40 days of fasting.

Reading this article prompted me to share my thoughts and questions and meanderings regarding this hot topic.  As a counselor and minister, and as a friend, I have encountered more than a few people who have had same-sex attractions. I’ve seen the damage that the world has caused them, and I’ve seen the lack of love the Church has shown them.  I’ve watched the LGBT community activists force their view onto those who have true religious convictions.  All sides of this issue have often made me cringe when I try to comprehend it under the umbrella of Christ’s love.   

I have been all over the place regarding same-sex marriage.  I have people from every walk of my life who are gay and whom I love.  I also have dear friends who I respect and admire and love who stand firmly against same-sex relationships.  I have heard and read just about every argument for and against gay marriage and practicing homosexuality, and I am usually swayed a little each time I hear the “facts” as presented by either side.

What does the Bible say about homosexuality and gay marriage? When it comes to many current issues, I often struggle with the words I read in Scripture, their literal meanings, their perceived meanings, their cultural meanings, and their Old Covenant meanings vs. New Covenant meanings.  What do I believe?  Do I believe the Word I read as it is, interpreted to me by my own life experiences and by what the Holy Spirit tells me?   Do I believe the seminary-trained theologian, who themselves in turn have been influenced by other people who come from completely different life and spiritual experiences than myself?  Do I believe the various denominational leaders and historical church councils who have bartered and compromised and voted to adopt creeds and “official” understandings of Scripture and religious dogma to suit their agendas?  Do I believe the Word as it is preached and taught by pastors who dedicate their lives to sharing the Gospel, yet are as human and screwed up and have the same thought processes as you or me?  Do I believe fresh interpretations and understandings of the various Greek and Hebrew texts based on today's customs and culture rather than ancient customs and culture?

I BELIEVE GOD’S WORD.  It’s just that I have so many questions about who’s interpretation I stand by, especially concerning current social and moral issues. 

A friend recently posted a thought about our need for an “unmovable standard”.  Basically, what he was saying was that there has to be a line drawn in the sand somewhere and we need to accept the Scripture’s moral compass settings. Otherwise, what is to keep us from accepting anything as “normal”, be it gay marriage or polygamy or something as extreme as beastiality?

I get that.  What keeps our society from anarchy are the laws and standards we live by.   What keeps our spiritual lives God-pleasing are the standards God has shown us in Scripture.  But (1) that still doesn’t address the questions I have mentioned above about how we interpret the Bible and whose interpretation we believe, which ultimately affects what we believe about those biblically-based standards; and (2) what would have happened generations ago had we drawn that line in the sand accepting those biblically-based standards that people used regarding slavery, women’s rights, rights for minorities, mixed-race marriages, and divorce?  Each of those issues were argued against using God’s Word.  And now homosexuality and same-sex marriage are on the same burner of intense scrutiny.

Do we Christians play buffet-style religion with regards to gay marriage and same-sex relationships? There are more than a few directives given in the New Testament that the church has ignored or explained away.  Any Christian women out there adorn their bodies with gold or pearls?  Cut their hair?  Speak in church?  Any Christian men out there with long hair?  When was the last time your church had a pot luck and invited the poor, maimed, blind and lame?  Have you taken out any loans recently?  You see, each of these things are specifically spoken to in the New Testament.  No ifs, ands, or buts. Yet the majority of New Testament churches do not adhere to what the Bible says about these.  Where is the line in the sand with these issues?

Another issue my mind stumbles over when debating scriptural literacy and homosexuality is relatively new in the past few decades:  acceptance of divorce and remarriage in the church.  How many of our churches have faithful, loving, giving, committed divorced and remarried people serving in them?  Bible study leaders, deacons, elders, musicians, and even pastors?  The New Testament, even Jesus’ own words, tells us that to remarry after divorce (except in the case that the original marriage ended because of adultery) is to live in adultery.  Therefore, if we are to follow exactly that line in the sand that the Bible gives us regarding divorce and remarriage, doesn’t that mean that we’ve allowed and accepted on-going adultery into our churches?  And if you do a simple search of Scripture, you’ll find that there are many more warnings and statements about divorce than about homosexuality.

It seems to me that the church has a history of reexamining spiritual truths and standards in light of grace, forgiveness, cultural acceptance, and new understandings of Jesus’ teachings.  Is it wrong that we’ve reexamined the Scriptures that deal with remarriage and accepted this in our churches?  Is it wrong that we’ve reexamined the Scriptures regarding women and jewelry and allowed that in our churches?  Should homosexuality and gay marriage be reexamined in our churches today, just as slavery was, just as women’s rights were, et el?

I don’t have a clear answer.  But I think I have a clear thought process.

For me, it boils down to this:  on one hand is belief in the literal, black-and-white reading and blunt understanding of the Bible, without room for new interpretation or reexamination; on the other hand is belief that is based on grace, on soul competency/the priesthood of the believer…we each are personally responsible for how we read and interpret the Scripture…and on the on-going dynamic individual relationship we each have with Christ.  I don’t believe that the Bible ever changes, but I believe our understanding and interpretations of it are ever-fluid, ever-growing, ever-changing as we “work out our salvation with fear and trembling.”

I guess my questions are summed up here: can the same God who allows men with long hair in our churches also allow gay marriage? Can the same God that has allowed women to take leadership roles in churches and in worship also allow homosexual relationships?  If the church has deemed once non-acceptable things as now acceptable, why draw the line with this one issue?  Is that God speaking, or is it man speaking what they want God to say?

I don’t claim to have an answer for anyone other than myself.  In fact, I don’t really have an answer at all…I have a lot of questions.  However, on my own spiritual journey, I firmly believe that not everything is as black-and-white as some would have you believe.  I may be wrong…but I may not.  However, if I am going to be wrong, I will err on the side of grace, the side of love, and on my own personal promptings of the Holy Spirit and interpretations of the Word.  I will err on the side that casts shame and hatred to the pits of hell.

My eternal salvation does not rest on what I believe on homosexuality and gay marriage.  I challenge each of us to not make someone else’s salvation rest on that either.  Let's stop demonizing one another's beliefs, from the fundamentalist conservative Believer to the LGBT activist, let's commit to honor one another in Christ's love, and let's leave the judging up to the Almighty.